A Fairly Happy Future
by Mrs.Scarlettbutler
Summary: Post The Truth, starting right after the bed scene. Scully and Mulder slow down for a moment to re-bond. M


Disclaimer: They belong to man with a greater imagination than mine, I just play with them but always return then unharmed.

This is just a rambling, later I'll decide to continue or not. Post The Truth, starting after the bed scene.

I saw Gillian Anderson in A Doll's House and she was fantastic, brilliant! Every one played their role excellent but Gillian Anderson was outstanding in her performance. I like how the play had been altered. A nice trip to London.

A Fairly Happy Future

Closing her eyes, the familiar scent of Mulder tingled in her nose, that and the feeling of his body pressed into hers was intoxicating and unexpected, and impossible to believe in. Breathing deeply in, she relaxed in joy, he was here in her arms and suddenly her world was easier to bear. Just before her mind processed the sensations of having Mulder in her bed again, her mind remembered. Remembered the cold arms of loneliness embracing her when waking up after a pleasant dream to find her bed empty and cold, after realising that the dream was a nightmare.

Scully's body stiffened in terror and the "No!" left her tongue just barely before her eyes flew open in panic.

"Scully?"

Unable to reply, she watched him intensely. There were other times when he had seemed as real as now, times where she had been deathly disappointed. And now, her nightmares had doubled, sleep was for everyone but her most nights, mostly because every time she closed her eyes one of their beloved voices caressed her ears, or one of their scents enveloped her as the most expensive perfume only could, or one of the sweetest hands touched her. And every time the pain crushed her, when she remembered, remembered that is was just a dream, remembered that both were gone. How many times could she survive to remember? Survive closing her eyes?

"Scully!?"

The urgent tone in his voice was new normally his voice was tender, loving. Her eyes widened in silent question when she saw the small changes in him. Mulder had lost weight and he looked more tired then she remembered. And his eyes looked so worried.

"Scully, are you okay?"

The answer came automatically, "Mulder, I'm fine." Her mind was still refusing to believe.

"You don't look fine!"

Shit, that wasn't the standard answer he normally gave, when she gave her standard lie. "Mulder?" Her eyes were still swimming in her face.

He untangled his legs from hers and pushed his body into an upward position.

"Don't go" She whispered in defeat.

Gliding down again, he fastened his hold on her. "Scully, I won't go. I won't leave you again"

Slowly, her eyes filled with unshed tears, "you are here?"

This time it was his eyes that widened in surprise, "yes, I'm here. The words barely left his lips before he understood. "Oh, Scully, you didn't loose me."

Closing her eyes briefly, it all came back to her, the trial, the death sentence and the escape. "But I came close to loosing you, Mulder. I won't forget that any time soon!" Too much had already been lost.

"I know." He whispered into her hair, "neither will I!" He too knew what had already been lost.

"We'll fight together?" She needed to know.

"We will, I promise." He reassured her.

Satisfied Scully relaxed. Snuggling closer her lips were pressed against his temple, it was a welcomed familiar feeling, and she had been denied those simple gestures for so long, too long.

Their love was not limited to pure physic relief, it was so much more. A simple locking of eyes, or a eyebrow being raised or a hand on the small of a back showed the depth of their love, more than a passionate kiss would. Not that she minded their passionate kisses and not that it ruined or belittle their love. In fact she highly valued physic contact with Mulder, craved it. But none physic contact was all they had showed the world for years and it had enlarged the intimacy of those, for others, small gestures. Luckily, now, she could have both but their lovemaking still didn't overrule the simpler gestures, each was as powerful as the other.

The smaller gestures had been enough when Mulder was imprisoned, not that they had a saying in the matter, but the fire his wandering hands started in her, right now, uncovered that it wasn't enough for her or him anymore. Both longed for a deeper contact, a more intimate connection, the one act they never shared with others. It was time to disappear into their private world and it was time to let their guards down for a moment, and trust their wings would hold them, trust that they were truly alone here in Roswell. After saying properly hallo, they would put their trust of being able to disappear without a trace into question. But not now, now, their urgency had top priority.

Closing her eyes, Scully welcomed Mulder's tender caresses, welcomed his warm lips and captivating tongue. The fire he enlightened in her was overwhelming and willingly she gave into it. Nothing had been forgotten, the awkwardness of separated lovers stayed away and their bodies enjoyed eidetic memories.

She was lying in the bay of clear blue water and her body became alive with the gentle waves that washed over her body. Oh god, the water was so warm and soft as it touched her sensitive skin. The water caressed every curve of her glowing body and played it like the finest instrument, revealing a song from ancient times. In waves her body became accustomed to pleasures unexplainable but yet well-known. When the tide rolled in, the water became warmer, so warm that it almost burned her skin. But she just moaned in joy, wanting to be burned by the rushing water. The gentleness was replaced with a new intensity, in delighted shock she panted for air, and suddenly afraid that the water would slow down in the fear of hurting her, she cried. "Yes!"

The water obeyed and sent more warm waves splashing over her skin, and for every wave the water level increased, leaving her body covered in demanding warmth. The water begged her to give herself to it, and god she wanted to. Honestly, she was beyond control. The water controlled her. It willed her.

The temperature rose dramatically, the water became hot, almost at the boiling point and she carved it. She longed to be burn by it. The waves washed in over her in rapid speed and soon she was under the water gasping for air, her mouth formed the word 'more' but filled with water it never came out as more than a sharp sigh for air. In synergy with the water, she danced the wild dance of heat and passion, and letting it take her higher and higher, until the water threw her into the air. Staying there for a few seconds before the air let go of her body, falling and falling and falling until she finally fell back into the water. The water consumed her. Drowning in the heat, she cried. "Mulder!"

His answer came as desperately, he too was drowning in the burning water and he too cried for her. "Scully!"

In the aftermath Mulder held her tight as their hearts slowed down, the intensity of their lovemaking never failed to humble him. Scully gave him all she had to give and he gladly took it. Never once had he dared to hope she would give him this much, though she was very emotional she was also very reserved, a reserve she abandoned when it came to him. With him she was warm and open. In return he gave her everything in him, surprised it was enough but she had taken his heart with gentle hands and held it close to her own heart. From her he had learned true trust.

Burying his head in her hair, he whispered, "Scully."

Scully understood him, over the years the saying of their names had become an 'I love you.' When the word love would endanger their lives and empowering the powers others already had over them, they had found another way to express their feelings. A name was innocent and safe and they had learned the rules fast. Now their names were the strongest declaration of their love.

"Mulder." She whispered back, before she allowed her body some needed sleep.

Three hours later, she awoke with a scream. "William!"

Bolting up in the bed, she leaned heavy against the headboard, while her eyes scanned the room and her right hand searched under the pillow for her weapon. But feeling the madras moving under her Scully's wild eyes landed on Mulder.

Sitting up next to her, he reached for her. "Scully, what is it?"

Leaning into him, she exhaled heavily, "nothing, Mulder. It was just a dream, I've already forgotten it."

"You're sure?" It was obviously that he didn't believe her. He had heard the name she yelled in her sleep.

"Yeah." She wasn't ready, not yet.

Kissing the top of her hair, he allowed her some privacy. "You do know we have to talk about it soon, don't you?" He asked softly.

Kissing him quietly, she locked eyes with him. "I know. But not here and not now." She wanted some guaranty of safety before she shared her nightmares and pains. Loosing William had been her solemn burden to bear, just like his birth had with its mixture of terror and joy. Both times Mulder had been unavailable, not because he wanted but from the need of protection. Soon, it would be time to share their pains together but not now.

Sometimes, Scully wondered if she had really survived loosing her son, and wondered what was left of her. Everyday was a struggle just to remember how to breathe, but fortunately breathing had become easier in the past 24 hours.

"Ok. But maybe we should leave now that we are awake?"

Nodding in acceptance, she said, "why don't you shower first? I need to send a text message to my mom. I bought a new cell phone with a prepaid telephone card, just for insurance. It can't be tracked."

"Sure." He agreed. On his way to the bathroom he stopped and added, "send my love to Maggie."

Scully never replied she was already busy unwrapping the cheap cell phone. It accepted the pin code and was up and running within minutes, and suddenly she was wordless. Which words would comfort her mother, whom was about to loose her second daughter? Maggie had already lost so much, a husband, a daughter, Mulder and a grandson. And now Scully would add to her pain, of course, she hadn't died but she was a fugitive.

Starring at her shaking hands, Scully started typing:

_Dear mom,_

_Sorry I haven't called in days but there wasn't time. Mulder is alive. We are together but need to disappear for the time being. Don't tell anyone that I've contacted you, please. I'll contact you asap when it's safe, don't worry! We'll be okay._

_Love Dana and Mulder_

Her mother was a dear constant in her life, in many ways Dana had been closer to her dad, Ahab, but with his frequent travelling Maggie had provided a constant care and closeness, one that had helped forming her youngest daughter. It was Maggie's credit that Dana was tolerant of people and their way of thinking, and Maggie had supported Dana when she joined The FBI. Their daughter's choice of carrier had been hard on Ahab, he was a good man but also very strict, and he followed the rules and leaned on science. A way of thinking he had passed on to his youngest daughter. From Maggie Dana got her faith and open mind, truly Dana was more open minded than she thought. The two parts in Dana had struggled for years but working together with Mulder had changed Maggie's daughter, and now Dana was what Mulder would call a believer, though she still included her science. But like Scully had said to agent Doggett, she had seen too much not to believe. 

Maggie would take the separation very hard, after all Scully was used to be on the road for longer periods of time and wouldn't min at first. Of course that had changed when… no, she wouldn't think of him now… But it was hard to loose everything dear in her life, yet, she was luckier than Mulder, now, she was all he had left. But how do you count losses, had some loss a higher score? No, loosing wasn't a competition it was to bloody real for that.

They would get through this, as they had gone through every challenge they had been faced with, they would get through it together. As long as they had each other, they would be ok. Scully would miss her mom but Maggie was still alive just like William was. Her beautiful baby, William. No, you couldn't count losses. And you surely couldn't choose them.

The sounds of Mulder finishing his bath brought her back to their motel room. Turning the cell phone, she opened the cover and took out the sim card, before she threw the cell phone into the garbage can. The small sim card was absentmindedly cut into two pieces and hidden in her jeans she would use another garbage can for getting rid of that, they couldn't really be too careful.

By instinct, Scully turned her head in the exact same moment Mulder walked out from the bathroom, his waist was loosely covered by a small white towel and on his chest he had small water drops glittering. The sight took Scully's breath away and brought a tender smile to her lips. Still, she had so much, Mulder. Her eyes shinning with love and the warm glove in her face made Mulder breathless, stopping in his track he took in the vision standing in front of him, her beauty was growing with the years she grew older, like expensive red wine from exotic places. Scully had always been beautiful but with her beauty never faded but became more striking. He liked how she had let her hair grow while he was away, in awe he realised that her hair covered her face as a soft halo.

Scully watched how the sudden bright smile smoothed Mulder's face, the hard lines from eyes and mouth vanished and uncovered the compassionated side of Mulder, she had fallen in love with.

Both took a step forward and stopped, their eyes were glued to each other's. Both pairs of eyes hungrily surveyed, trailing every detail and keeping it safely in a memory. This moment was the first time they slowed down enough to see, until now they had fed the other senses but the sight.

With the re-establishing of the physic bond both trusted they were finally together and that they still shared the same love and dreams, that gave them courage and peace to slow down and enjoy the miracle.

Reaching out Scully hesitantly lay her hand on Mulder's chest right above his heart, stepping a single step closer her eyes followed her hand, watching how her hand moved in perfect harmony with Mulder's heart. Slowly he covered her hand with his own. Scully's eyes flew back to Mulder's seriously ones.

"Mulder, I can't do this alone anymore."

"I know, Scully. Neither can I, I thought I could in my eager to protect you but it's just not working for me. I'm not good on my own."

"Please stop believing you know how to protect me. Ask me what my needs and wants are before you decide for me, Mulder. You can't protect me by endangering your own life, how could that make me happy, Mulder?"

"I just wanted," he couldn't find the words, couldn't really remember the importance of his decision, but only remembered that he never wanted to see Scully defeated.

"I know you had the best of intentions at heart, Mulder, but even the best intentions can hurt and be wrong." Licking her bottom lip she added, "I need you!"

Watching the feelings flooding in his eyes she saw that he shared her need, the relief and gratefulness so strong they were almost touchable, he had feared they would choose to part for their safety again, just like she had fear it was his suggestion of a possible future. But she couldn't do that again, never.

Two years ago her hopes of a future with fairly happiness in it had been intact. Two years ago Mulder had been her only constant in a shaking life but secured in his love, she had allowed joy to enter her walls of worries. Was it only two years ago life without Mulder was forced upon her? She wondered. Sometimes it felt like a lifetime, funny how bizarre time could become, before Mulder's abduction her trials and life experiences, no matter how trying and hard they had been, had made her feel tired but not old. It had changed when Mulder was gone, stolen from her, now she felt like she ought to be 90 and not in her thirties. 70 years hadn't passed, only two years.

In two years, she had gained everything only to have it all taken from her again. Wasn't it bittersweet, a twist of irony, to have her most wanted dream coming true on the exact same day her world fell apart?

The sweet tears of learning about her love-child, William, never dried before they were replaced by tears of deep, deep sorrow and fright. Mulder was gone and she could only hope he would return soon. Soon had turned into months and she was heavy pregnant with their child before he came back to her. Their sweet lovechild. But she hadn't lost hope when days had turned into months and she hadn't lost hope when Mulder left her again, but her hope of a fairly happy future had disappeared with William.

William had only been truly hers for such a short time, how could that ever make up for a lifetime?

Compared to Mulder she was lucky, she had William for almost a year and before that for nine months when he lived inside of her. Mulder's time with their son had been brief, a few days and a few months. Luck? She had to hold on to luck, she wasn't supposed to conceive but she had beaten the odds and won a short-lived time.

Mulder saw the awareness leave Scully's beautiful face, saw her become lost in her own world and saw how her eyes clouded with sadness. Suddenly, feeling very lonely and unbearable sad, he closed the final space between them and wrapped his arms around her.

Immediately, Scully lifted her arms and embraced him back, the body heat from Mulder travelled through her arms until it reached her heart, a small flicker of hope cracked the shells of cold. Realising happiness was closer now than it had been just a month ago, just a few days ago, she smiled.

Maybe there was hope of a fairly happy future.


End file.
